Metaphorically doubled over … screaming inside … silently uttering incomprehensible words … very irritated by the drawbacks … discouraged (though not surprised) by the lack of possible progress … indifferent to drops in the Tots, Klout, and Parent Blogger Leader Board scores … glad my domain authority hasn’t declined … falling behind schedule … panic setting in …. disorienting blogging crisis
That’s a taste of how I’m feeling about my blogging at the moment.
It’s like I’m in the blogosphere without being there; slowing fading away though I’d like to shine. I was shocked to see that I’ve only published 2 posts this month, and they are posts I had to write. It just doesn’t make sense. I want to write and I have so many posts going through my head every day; but I just can’t seem to bring myself to write.
I dont’ like this blogging valley, and the defeatist nature of this blogging dip is so unappealing. So much for my talks about grabbing every opportunity; I’ve had to watch many go by! I’m even struggling to keep up with existing commitments … it’s all so demoralising.
You see, it’s been a challenging few months and life has been full on in so many ways. Returning to full-time work after maternity leave has been quite an adjustment, especially as a breastfeeding mother. I’ve been struggling with keeping my head above the waters of work, and frankly speaking, it’s got the better of me. This is not because of my new role as a mum, but because of what I call ‘the debris of work’.
Oh yes … the years of sweeping so much work junk under the carpet finally caught up with me. 🙁 I’ve resisted writing about it though it’s occupied my thoughts way more than I’d like. I’ve tried to compartmentalize it but it’s gradually seeped out into my life outside work. I thought I could keep it from affecting my blogging but I underestimated its reach.
Blogging is such a treat for me; an important outlet for my thoughts and creativity, and another way of networking and connecting.
I’ve neglected my regular posts, and I rarely join in with blog link parties. I’ve missed my Breastfeeding and I linky for some weeks, and some of my social media is gathering cobwebs. I’ve literally let go of so many blogging lifelines, and it feels like I’m back to square one … in a way … that point when I was trying to find and establish my little corner in the blogosphere. 🙁
Okay, I admit that it has not all been dark and dreary in my part of the web. I’ve discovered the value of Facebook groups, learnt a lot about how Facebook page works, and I even hosted a twitter chat last week. Even then, I’m struggling to get away from the slippery slope of this blogging valley. I’ve had enough of this unplanned blogging hiatus, and I can’t wait to get out of this blogging pit.
So here I am, making a stand for my blogging … taking steps to really write again. O yes, I’m choosing against my immediate feelings to record moments in my life, thoughts, and times for my little one. I am pushing myself to capture more thoughts, preserve some memories, and hopefully encourage others along the way.
The thought of the ‘space’ this will free up in my head is energizing.
I am so thrilled about pressing the ‘publish’ button again, soon.
Do you ever have blogging dips or periods when you really struggle to keep doing something that is important to you?
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